Judge Supports Anytown Citizens United Claim
By Bob Doe
An Anytown judge recently supported Anytown Citizens United's right to affect positive change for all. Judge Public stated that, "Anytown Citizens United is within it's rights to continue working on behalf of the community." This ends a lengthy court battle that began when No Good Enterprises charged Anytown Citizens United with not minding its own business. "We knew we would prevail", stated Anytown Citizens United co-founder Nancy Jones.
Legislators Agree to Improve Things
By Winston Maverick
Succumbing to pressure from Anytown Citizens United, two key legislators agreed to stop conducting business as usual and start working for positive change. "We want to thank the fine citizens of our community for their support and efforts throughout this campaign", declared Sue James, a member of Anytown Citizens United. "This could not have been possible without the wonderful support we received from the community at large. This has been the second such action by Anytown Citizens United. The previous effort resulted in an overall satisfaction increase of over 30%. "We're not done yet!" exclaimed Anytown Citizens United president Hank Smith.
Sun Charge Proposal Defeated
By Tom Thumb
A grassroots effort and proposed boycott organized by Anytown Citizens United put a halt to plans by the XYZ Company to build a giant umbrella above downtown Anytown. The XYZ Board of Directors' plan was to charge citizens to remove the umbrella to receive sunlight on the town. Anytown Citizens United went into action. "We weren't going to let our citizen's be in a situation where they would have to pay for sunlight," explained Anytown Citizens United treasurer Skip Allen. Folding under pressure from Anytown Citizens United, the XYZ company has decided to take the giant umbrella and make it a dome that would rest over Elm Street Park, allowing children to play on rainy days, and shading them on extremely hot days. Allen gleefully cheered, "We are pleased to see that XYZ has a heart!"